I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Monday, June 6th would turn out to be a record breaking day heat wise in the Milwaukee area. Though we are in an environment where we never see the outside world, we very much feel the effects as the air from the outside world is pumped through the ventilation system. But the day didn’t begin all that badly. Our ERP social worker Ms. Grey returned from vacation having gotten to see the Grand Canyon among other places. She appeared relaxed, content much more than I’d seen her in the past. The first thing we did was to go through the relapse trigger assignment. Ms. Grey surprised us with having the presenting inmate do a skit with other group members reflecting the relapse triggers described. For mine, she had two inmates play my adoptive parents, Charles and Victoria Martin expressing concern about how much isolating and the amount of time I spent on a computer, which I could actually see them doing. As an IT Infrastructure and .NET Framework programmer, fortunately they know I will be working on the computer a lot, knocking the rust off my skills. While all this was going on I saw guard Ron Kidd standing at the front door of my cell. Sure enough he had gone in and was doing a cell inspection. We had largely been ignored since the big shakedown here but Kidd and cellie Malcolm Johnson have already had several run ins. He hasn’t gotten the idea yet to stay below the radar which is surprising since he has spent so much time in prison. Cellie and ERP group member Larry Sands happened to be there and said he saw Kidd go straight to the fan he managed to acquire from a departing inmate (again) and take it which led him to think someone snitched on him, possibly Johnson. While Johnson has become one who seems to spend a lot of time at the guard desk and time alone with his ERP social worker Ms. Carr, I don’t think Johnsons was the snitch this time. The bottom line is he took a fan, an extra set of clothes I had and ripped down everything taped to the wall including our antennas for TV. Reception can be hard here so that was annoying. But back to group. I participated in the skit for ERP group member Russ Johnson. I played his twelve year old daughter, while Sands played his ex-wife, who were making demand if him. Apparently, I did a good job playing his daughter. At one point in the skit, mom and dad were fighting and I quipped, “Mom and dad are fighting again. Oh Well. More presents for me.” Everyone laughed at this. Then we got into the Phase 3 essay test while she reviewed our Plan A and B plan. It was a simple test. Afterwards, she made suggestions on how to improve the poster and covered the definition of craving that she hadn’t covered yet but had been on the test. By now, the heat, a high of 94 degrees outside and high humidity, had descended on us. In these polyester uniforms it was just miserable. And Sands, as well as Jose Michaels, have no fans. I felt bad for them but nothing I could do. Speaking of Michaels, he really is working hard. He is thoroughly doing the exercises in the Houses of Healing book by Robin Casarjian. Just a ton of effort in everything program related. Malcolm, on the other hand, has made it clear he doesn’t want to do anything. It’s kind of interesting to watch. After group, some members called me over. They want me to create a title for the poster board on the graduation project on the computer. Of course, I wasn’t happy. Just poor planning on this all around. Other groups had their project done months before and here we are 4 days before graduation still planning. But Russell Johnson volunteered to step up and make it. I was happy. Perhaps too, the heat is just making me cranky. Mail call came and along with it, another development with my daughter, Lexi. She had gone on Facebook and gave me a friend request (Under my real name of course. If you’d like to befriend Jake on Facebook, go here). I asked the blog sponsor who watches these things for me to accept her request and let her know I can’t wait to see her and to look around her Facebook page for me and let me know what’s going on with her. Finally, a window into what is going on! I settled in for the night with a smile in spite of sweating along with some apprehension.
Posts Tagged ‘effort’
Some Like It Hot
Posted: December 27, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: Afterwards, antennas, apprehension, area, assignment, Canyon, Carr, Casarjian, cell, cellie, Charles, computer, daughter, definition, degrees, desk, Detention, development, door, effort, environment, essay, Facebook, Framework, friend, Grand, Grey, Houses, Infrastructure, inmate, inmates, inspection, Institution, Jake, Johnson, Johnsons, Jose, June, Just, Kidd, Larry, Lexi, Mail, Malcolm, Martin, member, Michaels, Milwaukee, MSDF, parents, Phase, plan, poster, Prison, Program, programmer, radar, Reception, Release, Robin, Russ, Russell, Sands, Secure, skills, skit, Some, spite, suggestions, Sure, System, Though, Under, uniforms, vacation, ventilation, Victoria, wife, Wisconsin, worker
You Are Not Alone
Posted: November 11, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: Augie, blog, clue, communication, correspondence, counselor, degrees, Detention, difference, effort, guilt, Health, Heck, Information, inmate, inmates, Institution, Late, lessons, member, Milwaukee, MSDF, news, ones, perseverance, prayer, Prescott, Prison, Program, Release, Secure, solution, solutions, Some, System, Technology, Thank, tornadoes, Wisconsin
I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Late Friday we got some great news. The family and home of ERP group member Augie Prescott is safe after the devastating tornadoes down south. Of course, I’ll have no word from my recently reconnected biological family for some time as my only means of communication is by email through the blog sponsors. But I’m not thinking about that because it would be counterproductive to my mental health. Kind of like some of you worrying continually about your loved ones who are locked away will only serve to make you insane. You’ve got to go on, be able to function, which you can’t do it your always in your own prison of paralysis. Some of you out there are in so much pain over what has happened to the inmate you love and what is happening to your and your family as a result you’ll turn to the likes of me. Perhaps you know I’ll understand like no one on the outside will. Be honest, compassionate, and actually answer your correspondence unlike many men who are locked up who seem reluctant or unable to respond. For many of us inmates we are consumed by shame, guilt, fear, insecurity, and doubt so much so that we’re unable to even know where or how to begin an honest discourse with those that we love on the outside. Let me say that again. Those that we love! Be assured their hearts are still with you and though your inmate may not communicate well at times, its not because they don’t’ want to. They just don’t know how. That becomes evident in the inmates silence or communication that seems trivial, sexual, controlling, or angry. Please keep in mind when you write me, I’m not trained as a counselor (though I’ve though about it but don’t have the first clue how to achieve that). I was an Information Technology (IT) guy prior to prison. I don’t claim any special insight nor am I going to have a solution to all your problems. Heck, I’m not aware of the solution to all of my problems yet. What I do have to share with you has not been something I’ve done on my own but it is part of who I am today and it’s something you’ve seen played out on these blog entries over the last 723 days. And that is the battle for my soul and mind. It’s the same exact battle your loved ones in prison fight with varying degrees of effort and success, just like me. What I tell all of you is your inmate is so blessed you stand by him and have not forgotten him. Until the last 6 months, I largely had no one except for the blog sponsors and those through this blog I now call friends. But I feel blessed and am happy that I’ve made a difference for some of you and wish I could do better for many others. Thank you for reaching out to me and telling me your stories. When my answers aren’t adequate there is always prayer, which I do for many of you often. If I could end your pain I would but prison is not a place of magical solutions, but lessons learned through tears, honesty, and perseverance by inmate and their loved ones alike even though our loves ones didn’t deserve this. Be strong, ask for help and know that you are not alone!
Following Directions
Posted: November 2, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: Afterwards, article, attitudes, Besides, Cards, cell, Charles, communication, computer, conversation, Detention, Directions, discussions, distributor, effort, employment, Framework, From, Grey, hoops, Information, inmates, Institution, Introduction, JobNet, John, Johnson, Larry, library, Lloyd, Martin, Milwaukee, Motivational, MSDF, news, packet, parents, Parole, Phase, Prison, Program, Release, Russ, Sands, Secure, session, situation, skills, Some, State, System, Technology, Victoria, Wisconsin, worker, workplace
I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). The morning started out slow as our ERP social worker Ms. Grey was off for the morning session for some kind of training. In the afternoon session, we began the Phase III work related to employment. First Ms. Grey asked how many of us needed to work on our resumes. Not a single hand went up. Typically, inmates often have nothing like a resume coming out of prison. I was in Information Technology for almost 20 years prior to me going to prison so I am pretty well versed in resumes, job searches and how to conduct myself in a workplace. But many do not so I’m sure it’s a good idea to offer it. Ms. Grey handed out a packet on employability called “Introduction and Motivational”. The first exercises were related to following directions. Basically it told you to make sure you read it all the way through, then gave you steps to follow that made you jump through all sorts of hoops and then get to the final step that told you, that had you read through everything you would know you wouldn’t have to do any of this. It got me. I’m so accustomed to just mind numbing work I just plowed through the first 4 of the 16 steps before catching on. So it made its point. Then we had to split into 3 groups and make up a list of 10 things important to being employed and then narrow them down to the top 5. In my group were myself, cellie Larry Sands, John Lloyd, and Russ Johnson. Our top 5 came out as positive mental attitudes, good communication skills, good listening skills, reliability, and good problem solving skills. I was suckered (nominated) by the other 3 to present the list to the other groups as they did too. I surprised myself at how comfortable I was doing so. Ms. Grey seemed pleased with our effort. We then watched a video called "From Parole to Employment that offered tips on your job hunt and was motivational. It was a good video. Afterwards, Sands brought up getting State ID cards which we’ve been told we could get before we got out and Ms. Grey said she’d look into it. Then the conversation turned to computer access, which the inmates can use to access JobNet and the law library. Some thought they’d need their own ID, which isn’t true at MSDF. But if its all the same, I think I’ll avoid computer use here! Besides, unlike other ERP programs, we have no community access in Phase III so we can’t contact or follow up any leads. But such is the situation. I had dug up a copy of my resume I had here along with a news article written about a software program using the .NET framework for a plumbing and electrical distributor. Russ Johnson got a hold of it and commended he had extensive contacts and would help me with my job search. I’m not really believing it but hey I’ll take any help I can! So we’ll see. So as usual we’ll see what happens. I spoke with my adoptive parents, Charles and Victoria Martin, and we’re having discussions on cell phones and internet access which I’ll need to get employment when I get out. It’s good to actually be planning the details for my release.
Waukesha County Comes After Me
Posted: November 22, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: Attorney, backlog, canal, cancer, Collections, Correctional, Corrections, custody, dental, Department, effort, faith, FMCI, Greer, hadn, Hospital, ideas, initiative, inmates, Institution, Jail, Lake, medication, Minimum, office, paperwork, places, Prison, psychiatrist, readers, reputation, requests, response, situation, System, tools, Unit, Waukesha, Wisconsin, worker
I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). As you might recall, I was initially diagnosed and treated for cancer while I was at the Waukesha County Jail. Since I’ve been in prison, Waukesha Community Hospital sent me bills and now Waukesha County Collections is coming after me. My power of attorney (POA) has been working to resolve this as it’s our understanding that you’re not responsible for medical bills while in custody. I decided to see if anyone here would have any ideas on what to do. I have little faith in anyone I’ve met in the WPS so far to show initiative other than the psychiatrist here but some of you readers suggested I do so I gave it a shot. I sent a request to Ms. Greer, the social worker, advising her of the situation. She called me into her office and stated she’d never seen a county do this before and wanted to see the paperwork leaving the impression she was going to look into it. I was floored. She has a fairly good reputation among the inmates but I hadn’t realistically expected an ally to be created. She told me to submit an information request to Greer advising her to do so. The entire next day went with no response. Greer almost always responds to such requests the same day, I’m told. I wrote another request that night. The next day, I had the last step of my root canal. I saw something there I hadn’ t seen in a at the other places I’ve been. For narcotics taken by inmates, not only do they watch you take it, but they crush the medication prior to it being given to the inmates, I’m sure to prevent inmates from cheeking the meds to give to others or hoard them. The last step of the root canal was uneventful. Basically it got filled in. They declined to do the other needed work. I understood that. They’ve got an 8 month backlog of people needing dental work at FMCI. I was told the Department of Corrections (DOC) is trying to make a dental waiting list that isn’t dependent on what facility you’re in. Sounds like a good idea to me. After I got back to my unit, there was a response to my second information request to Ms. Greer. It said “Let me know if there is anything else you need from me re: this”. I’m thinking to myself what the heck? I can easily understand why some inmates just give up when trying to handle things. They are without a lot of tools being on the inside and then they get frustrated making the effort to resources available to them. If I hadn’t been writing this I might have given up too. But tonight I’ll submit another information request conveying my understanding of what Ms. Greer wanted and going to do. No sense in giving up on her as I really don’t think she is trying to blow me off.
Self Defense, Instinct or Both?
Posted: November 17, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: aisle, aisles, areas, attitude, behavior, Both, boundaries, bunk, Charlie, compassion, Correctional, cupboard, cupboards, decision, Defense, didn, effort, environment, expenses, fact, FMCI, folks, food, From, governor, heart, inmate, inmates, Instinct, Institution, intentions, items, kitchen, Lake, manner, Many, Minimum, money, Most, needs, Neither, People, person, perspective, possessions, Prison, problems, reaction, retaliation, Scam, self, situation, situations, System, task, threat, Unit, violation, violence, Wisconsin, world
I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). It may not come as a shock to you that many inmates have problems with boundaries. The real question for me is whether or not the person violating my boundaries has acted in a malicious manner or is it just the way they are. Most of the time I have an opportunity to assess the situation or person and methodically make a decision how I’ll react to a violation. That wasn’t the case today. This particular situation involved an inmate named Charlie who lives in my row of bunks on Unit 9. Charlie who has been in many years, goes up and down the aisles, begging coffee, food and it is rumored he is not above taking something left out on a bunk or cupboard. In fact, it got to the point where inmates in other rows in an effort to defend their row without having to snitch, joined together and told him he was banned from their aisle. Policing themselves has mixed success at a minimum security level. It is more effective in a medium environment where the threat of violence is more prevalent. Unfortunately, since Charlie lives in my aisle, he can’t be banned here. The problem for Charlie as I perceive it, is he has nobody to help him financially on the outside. Neither did I, but I received money for valued possessions which I use for my expenses. If he did that, how long since it dried up. Many of us are not without heart. We gave him coffee and other items. He promised many he would pay them back in some fashion. But he repaid very few. I was one of the few. You might ask if others expected to be paid back, how are they showing heart or compassion? Because nothing his ever free, not in the real world but especially here. When he didn’t pay back the others, fact is no one would do anything about it because Charlie is a physically imposing person. He is at least 6’8” and at least 300lbs. But what made people even more angry was he took much of what was given him and traded it for cigarettes. People felt hustled because they felt they had given to meet his needs. From his perspective, he had taken what he had gotten to trade to meet his real “need”. Charlie had misrepresented his intentions to others – again not shocking behavior from some inmates. The effect of all this was that no one would have anything to do with him. I thought the situation would improve for him once he got a job in the kitchen. He would be able to scam food out of the kitchen to trade for his wants or needs, which is exactly what happened. But for these folks like myself he did pay back, somehow in his mind this represented a bond between him and each individual. He would come by our bunk areas and want to peer in our cupboards, wanting to know what we had in canteen and trying to propose various deals. No one was interested and I could see the confusion in his eyes. But my understanding attitude evaporated yesterday when he came up to me from the side, put his arms around me and whispered he needed food and wanted to trade. He could have told me he had a pardon from the governor and my reaction would have been the same. I jabbed my elbow in his rib cage and warned him to step off (back). Looking surprised he asked me what was with the attitude. He really didn’t understand this. Yes, I have issues. Did I overreact? I tried unsuccessfully to explain in my agitated state about my space, my boundaries and his need to respect that. He walked away and it was over. Normally in these situations one might fear retaliation from others. Not this time. Charlie is universally disliked. But the task before me is to figure out how I can handle a situation like this differently in the future, why I fear people getting in my space so much and what to do about it.