Posts Tagged ‘Jail’


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  I ran out of space in the last entry to tell you something else that happened.  Perhaps you recall me telling you about the guy who came  in some time ago that was extremely medicated and everyone gave him a hard time.  Anyway, apparently he struggled so much with the written assignments that the man who is this groups social worker, Mr. Silver, finally pulled the plug and terminated him from the ERP program.  Silver has a reputation for running the most difficult program here, giving the most work and is known as extremely dedicated.  I didn’t think the guy who got kicked out would last as long as he did.  It is ironic that a man with mental illness that he can’t help and that he is being treated for with medication can’t make it here yet so many that have come here for this ERP program clearly don’t belong here make it.  This isn’t the fault of the staff here or MSDF but is a reflection of the money based culture of rehabilitation and how it relates to mental illness.  But I’ll stay off my soap box.  Again, it was incredibly warm Friday (June 3rd).  Nothing much of anything happened until second shift arrived and when our old friend guard Mike Metcalf reported for duty.  He started off quiet but quickly showed his true colors as he gave warnings to inmates for having fingernails that were too long, how their shirts looked and so forth.  It’s just as well.  The new guys got their introduction to what this guy is about and will hopefully steer clear, as those of us who have been here awhile do.  Another sign I’m mentally checking out of here is how it relates to food.  I’m not interested in accumulating food, even with the good stuff like the cupcakes we got with the fish.  I don’t want to make deals with others.  I’m not the only one.  ERP group member John Lloyd tells everyone he just wants to be left alone by everybody and he’s getting more and more vocal about it every day.  It stayed extremely hot in here through Saturday.  Our group continues to distract themselves with cards and ping pong games despite how hot it is in the dayroom and rec room.  The rec room doesn’t have any air movement at all.  At least the dayroom as 2 large fans to blow the hot humid air around.  The rec room, which will double as our ERP group room next week, has the 2 exercise bikes and 2 weight machines so all these hot sweaty bodies plus no air movement makes for a pretty onerous smell.  Also, the shower procedure put in place by guard Art Coleman isn’t being followed by the other guards.  Though we like that it’s going to create this guessing game when we should follow that procedure.  Sunday came and finally a bit of cool down before sweltering temps are expected to return next week.  Cellie Larry Sands got a visit by his brother and was happy his release clothes will be sent tomorrow.  Release clothes are exactly what they sound like.  The clothes got send to MSDF staff no more than 60 days before your release which you get to wear out the door.  In my case, I’m just going to wear my sweats I got off the catalog.  The blog sponsor getting me is bringing my clothes they got from Waukesha County Jail after I was transferred to prison.  Those were the same clothes I wore 758 days ago when this whole thing began though I doubt the pants still fit!  But at least the shoes will be in better shape than the ones I got off the catalog.  I finished the day by reaching out to Barb via letter about the situation with Lexi.  I want to put my best foot forward with her despite our past relationship.  I’m hoping to get more information about what happened.  It’s all I can do from this cell to positively impact this situation so I’m doing it.  Believe me I know it’s not enough but I’m trying.  Tomorrow (Monday) our ERP social worker Ms. Grey will be back and this will be our final week of the ERP program.  It’s almost over!

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I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  As soon as ERP social worker Ms. Grey got our group in session that morning, I immediately asked her about who were the guys with warrants.  It has been the topic of conversation with us since she dropped that bomb the day before.  Obviously, we’re making plans for our release in 21-31 days.  Whoever of us have the warrants, it’s going to present a complication.  Ms. Grey said the people were cellie Larry Sands and group member Augie Prescott.  Sands had thought it was possible it was him but he reasoned it was a good thing as once he sits in Waukesha County Jail for the fine he owes he’ll actually get released before the rest of us will.  For Prescott, it’s a little more complicated.  His interstate compact had just been approved.  How this will affect everything for him is unclear.  But then Ms. Grey told him she wasn’t sure it was him, thus continuing the uncertainty.  I’m not worried about this.  But I feel for Prescott and Sands.  We started out taking the test we took when we first started our ERP group.  This time we corrected each others.  I got 6 wrong.  I don’t remember how I did last time.  Then she announced our second test will actually have to wait.  Apparently there are things we hadn’t covered yet so we couldn’t take the test.  Two things of interest that happened in our morning session.  First, former cellie Malik Pearl and one guy in his cell were the last ones left from the last graduating ERP class were moved to the ninth floor.  Pearl’s paperwork hadn’t returned from the Brown County Judge involved after 14 days.  They needed their beds for the incoming ERP class so off they went to the ninth floor.  Man, I hope I don’t have issues like this when my time comes to get released!  My paperwork will come back from a Winnebago County Judge so we’ll see.  The second thing was a guy who slept in a bunk near me at Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI) named Les Simon arrived.  He played guitar there and I had been impressed with him as a person.  After lunch he joined me at my table in the dayroom while I waited to go to the afternoon session.  I got him up to speed on the routine here and he got me caught up on some of the stuff that had gone on there.  It seems Percy had gotten him too, giving him 5 days bunk confinement for a petty offense there.  The worship team doesn’t exist anymore after team members repeatedly stole instruments.  They did put on a concert there that raised a lot of money for charity that included a Native American dance put together by my former bunkie prior his release in January.   I’m sorry I missed that.  But a lot of those I mentioned while I was there are gone.  Ms. Greer continues to work hard for people there but she had to set some boundaries.  Quite understandable.  Far and away she was the best social worker I’ve encountered in my time in prison.  In our afternoon session we watched the movie Omar and Pete, which I’ve seen on the institutional channel at FMCI.  It was quite good, depicting the story of two inmates trying to stay out of prison.  We got a 19 question worksheet on this movie due Monday.  Afterwards, Ms. Grey had complained about not being able to find the pictures of the transformer for the graduation program. She took me to her office and it turned out all she had to do was scroll across the screen to see it.  It was a little embarrassing.  She printed it and said she’d bring it to be seen by us but she never came back.  That night in the dayroom Les pulled me out into the dayroom to chat some more. That night new cellie Jose Michaels got taken to task by Larry Sands playing his radio out loud, after 11.  I didn’t like it but I put in my earplugs.  I’ve got 21 days to graduation.  I’m not going to let stuff like this get to me.


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  Do you know the song “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree” by Tony Orlando?  It’s a nice song that tells a nice story about an inmate who gets release from prison and wonders if his love will take him back.  If she will, she’s supposed to tie a yellow ribbon around the oak tree in front of their house. Well he gets there on a bus and he finds, with everyone cheering around him, there are a hundred yellow ribbons on the oak tree. Like I said, it’s a nice story.  Happy endings in prison are so rare I have found.  But when one comes along you can’t help but cheer along with the inmate.  I’ve told you how ERP group member Scott Bunker endured a potentially serious medical condition over the last few days.  Saturday came and hadn’t improved.  In fact, I’m told it had gotten worse.  It must be true, for the guards took him on a weekend , which is quite rare, back to the hospital again.  He again returned, this time having been fitted with a catheter.  It kind of reminds me too that even us inmates are capable of setting aside the pettiness, racial tension and self obsession that seems to consume us here when a person among us falls sick.  Seeing Bunker sick made us united in the hope for his recovery and conveying that to him.  Still we are men.  There of course were the jokes about him being “on his period.”  Tasteless yes but juvenile humor is often how men will cope and as a group deal with a tough situation.  When I was diagnosed with cancer while at Waukesha county Jail awaiting transfer to WPS, an inmate yelled so everyone could hear, “Hey Martin you gonna die or what?”  We all laughed.  I was grateful for the break in the tension.  Anyway, the goodwill generated by Bunker’s situation seemed to last all day.  Then that night, according to him, without them knowing what had happened, his second wife and step-daughter showed up for a visit after not having communicated at all for the past 2 years.  What occurred was just amazing!  She told him she wanted him to come home to them after all and that they still loved him.  He had sent his victim impact letter to her so perhaps this got the ball rolling.  After he got off his visit he went around the dayroom telling everyone that would listen, trying to act indifferent about it but the smile on his face betrayed him.  I’m just very happy for him.  I’m not the type to always describe to God every good or bad thing that happens.  But how could you not in this case?  On Sunday, it was time for my weekly call to my adoptive parents, Charles and Victoria Martin.  I’ve seen them once since I was in prison and recently started talking to me via phone.  They’re consumed by retirement planning as Charles is retiring as a pastor  shortly after my anticipated release.  They are moving to a place in WI which is where I’m thinking I’ll end up initially after release.  Their first concern was to talk to my parole officer (PO) up there to try to get alcohol allowed at the house.  No go there!  Their second was the retirement party at the hotel on the Saturday prior to the retirement service and whether alcohol could be present.  I told them I’d be talking to the PO about it this week.  Truth is though I’m dreading the whole thing.  After a rough start in life, I’d became an IT Professional, homeowner, and family man.  I had earned respect of others.  Now I’ll see all these people I’ve known over the years alone, penniless and no job.  I have no clue how to deal with that.  I’m sure I’m not the first guy to have to go there after prison.  I wrote a letter to my adoptive parents asking them to allow me to duck out on Saturday after making an appearance but then to participate in all the hoopla, pictures and tributes at his retirement service on Sunday.  But I’ve got to trust God to look after me the same way he looked after Scott Bunker.  It may not be as dramatic but I’ve learned God will always get me through.  The retirement party is in July and its April.  A lot can happen between now and then.


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Due to the snowstorm canteen got pushed back to Thursday night.  It didn’t matter to me though as I had somehow forgot to turn in my canteen order last week.  I’m the type to plan ahead so the only things I will come close to running out of were the prepaid stamped envelopes and single blade razors.  I used to think I couldn’t shave my head without my 4-blade Shick razor.   Now I can do it with a previously used disposable single blade razor.  The secret is just to take your time!  The rest of the night was pretty quiet except cellies Andre Charles and Brian Whalen arguing usually in a good natured way about who owes what to whom.   Today it was my ERP group member Scott Bunker’s turn to read his autobiography.  We were joined by intern Nikita which made all the guys happy. There were a couple of significant things I took from his story.  First, he said he had expected great things of himself as a kid and is saddened he won’t achieve it.  At the end I raised my hand and told him that he shouldn’t lose hope, that at 57, there is still time for him to do great things. I sensed in him a great despair, a beaten spirit.  I had similar thoughts when I was in Waukesha County Jail (WCJ) and occasionally as you’ve read, on this blog.  But we’re 4 months from release and if we don’t start believing now we never will.  Bunker has lost 6 1/2 years in prison to OWI offenses (he has 7) and lost his love of 26 years and another wife of 11 years due to it.  But it was clear he was still mourning the loss of his first wife not even able to look at pictures of her with her new husband or the kids with him.  I understand that pain too.  People we love move on without us and we feel the desperation in our hearts, wanting to cry out that they will wait and not forget.  In many ways, for us its like mourning the death of our loved ones or at least we think it is.  Truth is though, and as it was pointed out with Bunker, the opportunity for a relationship with them is there.  It’s just not the one we might want.  His first wife had reached out to him but he wasn’t receptive to what was offered.  That would have required him to let go of his anger and resentment.  But I think that anger and resentment was there to prevent him from feeling the pain that she is gone produces.  I so understand that.  But you may only make yourself miserable doing this.  I had to accept and extend forgiveness in order to move on.  It’s not an overnight thing or one where those feelings don’t come back some days.  But it gets easier.  I imagine it’s the same for the loved ones out of prison as they try to move on.  Anyway, Nikita struggled in asking questions but did okay.  We were done early again but this time there was no talk of real estate or such as Ms. Grey, our ERP Group Coordinator, didn’t allow it in front of the intern.  Our afternoon session began with a video called Good Intentions, Bad Choices, Overcoming Errors In Thinking featuring Stanton Samenow Ph.D by EMS Productions.  This video focused on bad intentions and choices then can be done by those newly out of prison or in recovery and unrealistic expectations.  It was far better than the video from yesterday.  We reviewed the worksheets from yesterday as well and then Ms. Grey brought in posters related to recovery or promotion of African American hero’s for ideals.  We taped them to the walls of the rec room that doubles as our group room.  It would have been pretty funny to watch all of us along with Ms. Grey and Nikita, none of us really knew for sure if any of this will actually stick to the wall.  But we’ll see.  We have this thing where we end each group day with reciting the mission statement I had written. In the confusion it’d been forgotten.  Group member Mark Hogan prevailed upon Ms. Grey to pull us all back together so we could do just that.   We were all still smiling as we finished and wished Ms. Grey and Nikita a good weekend.


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Last night we got canteen a day early (Tuesday) than normal because of the upcoming Christmas break.  I went a little nuts this time because its Christmas and anticipating time off I’ll want to snack on something.  I also ordered one of the generic Christmas cards they sell and sent it to Lisa.  I was incarcerated in the Waukesha County Jail (WCJ) at this time last year and I so went to pieces missing my former family.  I rarely hear from Lisa now, usually only when she is mad at her mom and she figures writing to me will upset her.  Such is the way of teenage girls.  But I wanted to let her know I haven’t forgotten.  They have moved on and have forgotten me.  I still think of them everyday, praying that they are ok and succeeding.  I even pray for Lynn, even though she wronged me so.  I occasionally catch a wave of resentment washing over me but I quickly remember that the most loving thing I can do is to let them go, pray they forgive me for the wrong I’ve done, and let go of the anger and resentment I felt.  It serves no purpose other than to make me miserable.  It won’t bring them back that’s for sure.  It’s one of the reasons I’d hoped not to be in Waukesha, WI after release so as not cross paths with them.  It would be hard on me and awkward for everybody.  I don’t think I’m going to get a choice though as no plan is coming together so far.  After canteen was handed out, I sat down with an Angus Meat Stick and actually ate real meat, not the soy WPS hands out as a substitute!  I changed the direction I sleep to see if that calms my irrational cellmate, Andre Charles, and it must have worked as he’s calm so far today.  We were all assembled in the dayroom studying our ERP materials when another ERP coordinator stood up and announced that you no longer could just get up and go to the bathroom when you like, and there were designated times to do so.  Also, unless our ERP facilitator assigned us to the dayroom while working on program materials, we were to stay in our designated area, which is the exercise room.  We moved and our new work area was a ping pong table.  Ms. Grey, our ERP Coordinator, showed up around 10 am and got us in a group and told us she’d fix this.  Since I missed yesterday they had me read the assignments we were given to have due this week.  It was my reaction to getting ERP, drug and alcohol use and my OWI arrest history.  It was in the OWI arrest history that the mental illness part came out as well as the suicide attempt and the other inmates reacted surprised yet supportive.  That surprised me.  Then we sped through the Orientation workbook up to “Keys for Change” with us as a group filling in the answers for the “Positive attitudes for successful treatment’ section – Honesty, Responsibility, Willingness, Open Mindedness, Humility, Caring, Objectivity and Gratitude, defining each with one word answers (or as close as we could) and some questions on each.  Again if you want details, email me.  Then we got an assignment for while Ms. Grey was on vacation – to finish the workbook, come up with a mission statement using our one word attitude definitions, and a ripple effect of drug and alcohol use design.  Pretty straightforward.  This is my first impatient treatment so its interesting and informative.  I’ve done a lot of this work in the past year but it has names for everything I was describing, but doesn’t address some of the things.  I got back to my cell and Andre wants to be friends again.  Oh what the heck…. its almost Christmas.


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  Today was real slow as most of us have finished our homework assignmentsAugie Prescott and Scott Bunker, in my group and sitting at my table and are cellmates with John Lloyd.  They are unhappy with all the fidgeting and noise he makes.  Lloyd is on his second room so perhaps there is more to that than I thought.  But the big news I have is Waukesha County has more medical bills they are now charging me for from my stay in their county jail, even though the only reason I let them get me treated for my cancer was I’d been told I wouldn’t be charged. It’s up to over $7,000 now, but guessing we’ll be just under $12,000 when its all said and done.  I am considering suing them as for 6 months they misdiagnosed my cancer as an infection which allowed it to progress to stage 3 causing me needless “pain and suffering”.  I wouldn’t consider it otherwise as I’m not the type to complain or sue people but I don’t know what else to do.  I’m going to have $18,000 in debts with this and over $15,000 in child support (the court refused to reduce it after I was incarcerated) obligations.  The last thing I need is another bill.  But here’s the thing.  If I don’t let them me to the hospital I may not be writing this blog entry today.  But if any of you can assist or know someone who can with this legal action or just want to email feel free.  Emails go to the sponsors of this blog and I or the sponsors always respond.  Another housekeeping matter, you may notice more characters being introduced.  This is because I’m involved in the ERP group now and have 3 cellmates.  Just a reminder, all characters except my oncologist and those not named in the media have been given aliases.  Also these entries are not real time but are delayed sometimes up to a month or so.  One new thing being done is instead of giving one link for each character whose name comes up, now the link goes back to the last time they were mentioned.  That way someone who lands in the middle of the blog can quickly get up to speed and the people involved.  Plus I have a great deal of difficulty remembering who or what is in each entry now.  I don’t maintain any kind of hard copy of the entries you see after they are mailed out for my own security and this helps not to have to rack my brain remembering what is where.  To be honest after I’m released I can’t wait to actually see the blog and all the work the sponsors did and be able to communicate with many of you in close to real time. 


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  Last night at the final standing count a rumor circulated among the inmates that an inmate on another floor had committed suicide by ingesting the cleaning solution we use to clean the tier.  I didn’t really believe it.  If I told you folks every crazy rumor that inmates report this blog wouldn’t have space for anything else.  I actually slept pretty well for a change that night.  The next morning a sure sign there is a problem is when the procedure for count is disrupted.  Normally we stand outside our door on the tier while the guard counts us.  Afterwards people may pass freely to the bathroom and back to their cell.  Up to that point during the night only one person after having been cleared by the guard may go to the bathroom.  It may not sound like a big deal to you but if you have to go and aren’t allowed to it can become one.  But anyway, after count was done by the guard manually going to each room to verify the number, we remained on lockdown, and when anyone tried to go to the bathroom, it wasn’t allowed.  Finally, for breakfast, we were allowed out and then as breakfast gave way to lunch, it was confirmed it was in fact a suicide.  No announcement mind you but those who talk to guards confirmed it.  I didn’t expect an outpouring of emotion or introspection from inmates or guards but it was greeted with a shrug of the shoulders type attitude, as if they had heard it on the news and that took me back a little.  I’d seen a suicide attempt before since I was locked up, in the Waukesha County Jail, but the reaction to that was heartless and they actually encouraged him to go through with it.  (He jumped from the upper tier intending to go head first into the floor but at the last second bailed and landed on his leg.  He suffered minor injuries)  The only acknowledgement from the guards was to post a note to all saying cleaning fluids must be returned to the desk.  I don’t know why he did it, if this place pushed him over the edge, if he had his proper medication, or if he was being returned to prison because his parole had been revoked and that combined with everything else was simply too much for him to bear.  There was nothing in the media about him so I’m just writing this to acknowledge what happened and if his family happens to find this, to express my sympathies to you for your loss.  I suspect that you’ll not see anything like that from the cold, unfeeling institution but that is their nature.  My regular readers know I’ve been there and it is only by sheer luck I am not dead.  I didn’t use the phrase God’s grace because it would imply that I am special.  Would it mean your loved one who died was not?  No, of course not.  What id does mean is God’s hands and feet, us human beings, were unable to get to your loved one in time to make a difference.  It isn’t God’s fault and it doesn’t mean your loved one lost the war they were in.  He’s a soldier that’s fallen in battle and the good they have done won’t be forgotten.