I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Cellie Andre Charles must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But his demands of cellie Malik Pearl who is on the upper bunk above him, are just crazy. He wants him to put a chair by the bunk so when he hops down he won’t wake him. This is prison, not a for your comfort hotel. Besides those of us on top bunk deal with that whole inconvenience! 🙂 But Malik said he wasn’t going to do it anymore because it isn’t all about him. Andre thought I put that in his head. He was right! But one thing led to another and Andre threatened him. Malik was clearly ready to go. Andre back down. Malik went to guard Roscoe Peters and told him who referred him to his ERP coordinator. Even cellie Brian Whalen was on board this time. Because it was guard training day there were no ERP program activities this morning. Instead we cleaned the unit. The afternoon session was interesting. First, we got a new book. It’s title “Driving With Care: Alcohol, Other Drugs, and Impaired Driving Offender Treatment” by Kenneth W. Wanberg, Harvey B. Milkman and David S. Tinken. What’s with the long titles anyway? But we didn’t open it. Instead we delved into the third House of Healing video (Ms. Grey skipped the second) by Robin Casarjian concerning not letting people hit your emotional triggers. Then we went into the follow up on the inner child healing assignments from yesterday. Larry Sands talked about how his failures to deal with his father’s suicide affected him. Jeff Dietz talked about how his father beat him in front of family after he’d been drinking which was often. Augie Prescott expressed disdain for the whole idea of inner child damage. I wondered aloud if my inner child was dead. Mark Hogan made fun of those who suffer from Post Traumatic Delayed Stress Disorder (PTSD). I must have been clearly drifting in all this as Ms. Grey called on me in front of everyone and asked me what was on my mind. After a couple of minutes of dodging, I told the group I had PTSD and I’m trying to fit together the concept of inner child damage and PTSD. I wasn’t very eloquent in how I said it. Most of these guys knew all the right words and I feel very far behind and they are so much further in their autobiography than I (I’m up to age 8 and meeting my adoptive parents – 12 pages) than I. But in the last 12 months on this blog I’ve written about acceptance of my past and how I used drinking to mask it. So I’m wondering if I was doing the same thing just not aware of it. Tonight’s assignment is to write a letter to the inner child. This is quite difficult. But I’ll do my best. After I got back to my cell, Malik told me his ERP Coordinator would be meeting with all of us about Andre tomorrow. So it continues…….
Posts Tagged ‘Kenneth’
The Inner Child Blues
Posted: March 24, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: acceptance, activities, afternoon, alcohol, Andre, assignment, assignments, Augie, autobiography, Besides, Blues, Brian, bunk, Care, Casarjian, cell, cellie, Charles, child, concept, coordinator, David, demands, Detention, Dietz, Disorder, drugs, failures, father, Grey, Harvey, Hogan, hotel, House, Inner, Instead, Institution, Jeff, Kenneth, Larry, letter, Malik, Mark, Milkman, Milwaukee, Most, MSDF, Offender, Pearl, Peters, Post, Prescott, Prison, Program, PTSD, Release, Robin, Roscoe, Secure, session, System, Tinken, Traumatic, treatment, Unit, Wanberg, wasn, Whalen, Wisconsin, words
More Voices From The Past
Posted: March 21, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: Abuse, addiction, afternoon, Andre, approval, assignments, avail, Bill, Bleep, card, Casarjian, Charles, Christmas, Conduct, Criminal, daughter, desk, Detention, didn, essay, folks, From, Grey, Harvey, haven, Institution, JoAnn, Kenneth, letter, Lisa, Lynn, Malik, medication, Milkman, Milwaukee, Moyer, MSDF, nostril, opinion, Past, Pearl, photo, player, Portraits, Prison, Program, references, Release, Robin, Secure, session, Should, substance, System, tendency, treatment, vacation, Wanberg, Wisconsin, workbook
I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). This morning cellie Andre Charles and Malik Pearl immediately started in on each other once Malik revealed people talk about Andre’s tendency to snap on people. Andre didn’t like learning people talked about him though he says he knew they did. But of course, he was angry that Malik didn’t tell him before. That’s not what he was really mad about. But as I talked with him I again tried to make him understand that his rage issue, if he didn’t get a hold of it, with medication or whatever, he’s going to kill someone to no avail. He keeps wanting my opinion/approval, I don’t know why. But I’m going to keep telling him the same thing. After the ERP group began this morning, Ms. Grey, who’d been on vacation all last week, was here. She asked us our impression of the What the Bleep Do We Know. We were all pretty skeptical. Then we did breathing exercises which she wants us to do everyday to start group. We close one nostril, breathe in, bend our head, then blow out the other nostril. It’s different. But we better get used to it. Then we talked about the assignments in “Criminal Conduct and Substance Abuse Treatment” by Kenneth Wanberg and Harvey Milkman and Houses of Healing by Robin Casarjian. Everyone completely agreed including Ms. Grey, that the Milkman workbook completely sucks and Casarjian rocks. But we’re required somehow to do this workbook according to Ms. Grey. So that’s what we’ll do. In the afternoon session we managed to get a hold of the remote for the DVD player and were able to watch “Portraits in Addiction” by Bill Moyer, which we hadn’t been able to do last time and wrote a one page essay on it. It was at least 15 years old so some of the references and people were dated but I thought it showed several types of addiction as well. They’re telling us much of what we already know. Yes we are alcoholics. We don’t need convincing. But perhaps I speak too quickly. After the afternoon session, I checked at the desk for mail and to my shock there was a letter from my former step-daughter Lynn. She sent a Christmas card with a photo of her and her boyfriend, a photo of her and JoAnn, and Lisa and a letter. In her letter she apologized for how she has treated me and seemed genuinely interested in what was going on with me. They had even gone to see my adoptive parents this past weekend. I sense there’s more going on out there in regards to this group of people. But its the same issue when JoAnn sent me the Christmas card. To what level can I get involved with these folks? Should I? I still haven’t decided. But I have a letter to write. I’m excited she reached out to me as I had wanted that for a long time.
Guard Trick Could Have Backfired
Posted: March 4, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: Abuse, addition, Ander, Andre, assignments, breath, Brian, Casarjian, catalog, Change, Charles, Christmas, Conduct, conversation, Could, Criminal, December, Detention, didn, Edition, expectations, Freedom, Grey, Guard, Guide, Harvey, headphones, Improvement, impulse, inmate, Inner, Institution, Jack, Kenneth, Koss, Malik, management, Marcus, medication, Milkman, Milwaukee, mood, MSDF, opinion, pastime, Pearl, piece, Power, Prison, Prisoner, Program, Publications, radio, Release, Robin, room, rules, Sage, Secure, self, situation, Strategies, substance, System, treatment, Trick, vacation, vacations, violations, Wanberg, Whalen, Wisconsin, workbook
I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Shortly after count last night, the Koss headphones I bought off the catalogs, a plastic piece by the right ear just fell off making the ear piece unable to stay connected (Jack L. Marcus catalog #2168). I got them while at JCI several months ago and they take a considerable pounding since I never listen to TV or radio without them. I spent the rest of the night after shaving my head wearing those headphones being careful not to touch them once I got them on my head lest I cause the headphone to fall. It’s unfortunate it happened right before Christmas break where TV viewing will be a major pastime. With Christmas right around the corner (today is December 23rd) guard and staff vacations have started which means we have staff unfamiliar to us. I asked them for an order form and catalog so I could order the headphones but were refused. While waiting for lunch, my cellies, Malik Pearl, Andre Charles, and Brian Whalen had a long but productive conversation. Andre went on and on about how those in his ERP group upset him with how they act. He finally came at me and wanted to know what I thought. I took a deep breath and told him the problem was him. His expectations of how these people act is what has created this problem. In addition, I told him his anger management isn’t the problem but he has a rage issue, and that he needed medication for mood stabilization and impulse control. Finally, I told him I worry someday he will kill someone before he was even aware of what he’s done. Everyone in the room was stunned by what I said but Andre said I was dead on accurate and thanked me. But he asked why Whalen never had issues with him. It’s because Whalen does everything he can to appease him while Malik and I would not. Whalen even agreed with this opinion. For once I thought I handled this situation well. We had count after lunch and Andre came out without his ID or yellow smock. Normally, they let this go but these new guards did not. After count cleared, one of the guards showed up and told him to pack up as he was doing to the hole for these violations. He was patted down, and Andre was clearly getting angry. After going through his things, the guard announced he was “fu—– with him as he had them by not following the rules”. Relieved he didn’t go to the hole he returned to his usual loud self. But this guard had played a very dangerous game. What if Ander had flipped out over losing his ERP over his trick? Getting kicked out of ERP can mean additional years an inmate may have to sit in prison. I believe Andre to be fairly dangerous and this guard was by himself and didn’t know Malik or I. Fortunately, it ended ok …this time. At 1 pm, Ms. Grey joined us and gave us new books. On was “Houses of Healing: A Prisoner’s Guide to Inner Power and Freedom, 5th Edition”, 2008, by Robin Casarjian and another workbook, “Criminal Conduct and Substance Abuse Treatment. Strategies for Self Improvement and Change” by Kenneth W. Wanberg and Harvey B. Milkman, 2006, Sage Publications. We will begin assignments in this next week while she is gone on vacation. Ms. Grey also gave us a whole bunch of worksheets. The load is getting heavier no doubt. But I am confident I’ll keep up.
Life in Wisconsin Prisons and Beyond 