I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  Cellie Andre Charles must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  But his demands of cellie Malik Pearl who is on the upper bunk above him, are just crazy.  He wants him to put a chair by the bunk so when he hops down he won’t wake him.  This is prison, not a for your comfort hotel.  Besides those of us on top bunk deal with that whole inconvenience! 🙂  But Malik said he wasn’t going to do it anymore because it isn’t all about him.  Andre thought I put that in his head.  He was right!  But one thing led to another and Andre threatened him.  Malik was clearly ready to go.  Andre back down.  Malik went to guard Roscoe Peters and told him who referred him to his ERP coordinator.  Even cellie Brian Whalen was on board this time.  Because it was guard training day there were no ERP program activities this morning.  Instead we cleaned the unit.  The afternoon session was interesting.  First, we got a new book.  It’s title “Driving With Care: Alcohol, Other Drugs, and Impaired Driving Offender Treatment” by Kenneth W. Wanberg, Harvey B. Milkman and David S. Tinken.  What’s with the long titles anyway?  But we didn’t open it.  Instead we delved into the third House of Healing video (Ms. Grey skipped the second) by Robin Casarjian concerning not letting people hit your emotional triggers.  Then we went into the follow up on the inner child healing assignments from yesterday.  Larry Sands talked about how his failures to deal with his father’s suicide affected him.  Jeff Dietz talked about how his father beat him in front of family after he’d been drinking which was often.  Augie Prescott expressed disdain for the whole idea of inner child damage.  I wondered aloud if my inner child was dead.  Mark Hogan made fun of those who suffer from Post Traumatic Delayed Stress Disorder (PTSD). I must have been clearly drifting in all this as Ms. Grey called on me in front of everyone and asked me what was on my mind.  After a couple of minutes of dodging, I told the group I had PTSD and I’m trying to fit together the concept of inner child damage and PTSD.  I wasn’t very eloquent in how I said it.  Most of these guys knew all the right words and I feel very far behind and they are so much further in their autobiography than I (I’m up to age 8 and meeting my adoptive parents – 12 pages) than I.  But in the last 12 months on this blog I’ve written about acceptance of my past and how I used drinking to mask it.  So I’m wondering if I was doing the same thing just not aware of it.  Tonight’s assignment is to write a letter to the inner child.  This is quite difficult.  But I’ll do my best.  After I got back to my cell, Malik told me his ERP  Coordinator would be meeting with all of us about Andre tomorrow.  So it continues…….

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Comments
  1. What a surprise to find a blog like this in my google reader!

    For a long time, I’ve been frustrated about the whole legal system, because all it can do is to “punish” people – or so I thought.

    This blog post gives me a lot of hope. Maybe the system is about to change from within.

    They seem to teach you exactly the right things – and set the right priorities (skip that book and work on the root causes of drinking instead). I loved the topics you mentioned. They also use John Bradshaw’s approach to write a letter to your inner child. Do you have to write with your non-dominant hand?

    It’s so easy to say this from outside, but I will say it anyway:

    Sometimes, big hurdles in life are a gift – because they give us the opportunity to learn invaluable lessons.

    Being robbed of your freedom can be extremely painful. I know, because I have experienced it myself – even though not in a prison.

    Despite the pain, don’t give up! Use the opportunity and learn. Use the gift.

    I wish you good luck!

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