I’m at the Fox Lake Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). The day got off to my typically abnormal start. At 1:30 am I got up after more sever than normal nightmares. In the real world, in this situation, I’d have gotten out of my bed, gone to the basement, and found my stash of booze, usually Jack Daniels, and drink in the dark until I calmed down. Then I returned to bed no one the wiser. The problem with that is you can’t do that during the day, at least not for any length of time without people being suspicious. So I covered with lies explaining my absences and tried to avoid situations where lots of people would be around and I couldn’t get away or where situations that would cause a lot of anxiety, such as those at the end with my family. There’s no Jack Daniels at FMCI so I got up this morning, being careful to shuffle my feet, and did my laundry. It turns out laundry can be quite therapeutic. If I’m blessed with another wife someday, I imagine shell like that stress reduction technique! I finally finished at around 3:30 am. I didn’t interrupt anything this time thank God, at least that I noticed. Unfortunately I didn’t get back to sleep as my bunkmate (cellie) has the flu and can’t stop coughing. I’m not sure if I would have gone back to sleep. I wish there was an easy fix. At 4:50 am I got up for breakfast then returned to my bunk, finally going to sleep. Once again, the morning routine was disrupted with an emergency count after the regular count was done. Later they chose today to either inspect or perform maintenance on the smoke detectors. Every once in awhile a high pitched sound representing the fire alarm was heard echoing through the building. A tall, skinny maintenance guy kept fiddling with the fuse boxes. I observed Lt. Brodie and a guy who lives a couple bunks down from me. At the first shakedown, he had had a mug full of apple juice taken and was accused of trying to make hooch. They gave him multiple breathalyzer tests but it always came back to zero so they let him go. Brodie challenged him that it wasn’t hooch and he argued with him. As we’ve seen before, Brodie doesn’t like it when inmates argue with him. He told him to go to his bunk. I caught up with him at lunch and he shared the complications. He’s convinced Brodie has it in for him and had managed to sabotage his recent parole hearing. His situation is further complicated by the additional minor ticket he got during the shakedown for having pornographic images of his girl up on his bunk wall that somehow got through the mail censors. Inmates often share such images with each other, as kind of a bragging contest. He kind of acted like its something we all do. I wanted to say, no, I don’t get any of those pictures, but if I did, no one else would be looking at my lady! Of course, the judge for his hearing on that ticket is Lt. Brodie, and he was concerned Brodie wouldn’t be fair. He wanted to talk to someone right away about this. I told him to calm down. You’ve got to keep your eye on the main goal which is to get out. If you continue on your present course, your going to harm your chances. There is no immediate way for you to fix this with Brodie, so you’ve got to sit down and be quiet. Not what he wanted to hear! He told me he’s not going to kiss anyone’s butt. I get where he’s at. You feel you’re in the right and want someone to listen. But it doesn’t matter here if you are right. Will it be any satisfaction that you are right when you are in the hole? I’ve learned not to challenge Brodie. You will lose. It’s just the way it is. It’s how the system is set up.
Posts Tagged ‘pictures’
We Didn’t Start the Fire
Posted: December 21, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: absences, basement, breakfast, Brodie, bunk, chances, complications, Correctional, Daniels, didn, doesn, emergency, feet, Fire, FMCI, girl, goal, Hooch, images, inmates, Institution, Jack, juice, lady, Lake, Later, Laundry, length, lies, maintenance, Once, pictures, Prison, reduction, satisfaction, situation, situations, Start, System, technique, ticket, wife, Wisconsin, world, zero
Sweetest Day and those that Scam
Posted: November 6, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: advice, affections, arguments, artist, artists, associates, blog, boundaries, calendar, Correctional, fact, FMCI, friends, guys, Hallmark, incarceration, inmate, inmates, inspiration, Institution, Lake, Many, Mine, Minimum, money, Often, person, pictures, Prison, purpose, relationship, relationships, rules, Scam, Some, streets, Sweetest, System, victim, Wisconsin, woman, women
I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). We just had “Sweetest Day” pass by on the calendar, one of those holidays Hallmark has chosen to bless us with. Guys here have varied ways to express their love for the one or those on the outside they state they love. The vast majority I think are quite serious. There is a minority that are “running game”, that is they are writing and/or calling several women at one time saying they love only them to each person, for the purpose of conning the victim out of money, purchases out of catalogs or to reach out to their associates on the streets. Apparently there are web sites women go on to find these guys. If you’re wondering, no I have not gotten any such contact. I have had people contact me through this blog who have offered money, but I have never accepted. I usually ask people to promote the blog who want to help. Many have become good friends. Its not the same as what these guys do. Some have shown me these letters they get. In a way, its a full blown virtual relationship complete with affections, arguments, advice and sex. Many women express the idea they are being conned to the inmate and the inmate expresses fear that the woman is “being unfaithful” in some way. Even here, the con artist tries to control the female mark. I know this won’t be popular for me to say, but I can understand the inmate who does this. Often they have no one, no real relationships, so this is all they are going to get. The con artist knows no other way to act in a relationship. It seemed many of the women know what they are getting into. Would these women know how to act in a real relationship, where they are not abused? I also know for a fact many of these women aren’t aware they are being played. They got sucked in by guys who are pros at this. I hope people write inmates but going in they need boundaries they will stick to and not deviate from them. The sure mark of a con artist are those who constantly try to find ways to violate your boundaries despite having been asked to respect them. Obviously, if you do this, please be careful.
But on another note, guys here who have real relationships with women on the outside will often call on the talented artists to draw pictures of themselves or other artwork to send their loved one, using canteen to pay the artist. It’s against the rules but its easy to look the other way. Relationships that survive incarceration are of the strongest and rarest kind. Mine did not. For many of us, incarceration exposed the sham of a relationship that existed and it could not survive. But for those of you that are making it, I take it as a source of inspiration and hope that I too may find that again someday.
Life in Wisconsin Prisons and Beyond 