Posts Tagged ‘basement’


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  Sometimes I’m not so bright.  In fact, I can make just stupid decisions.  When I was a child my arm was broken.  The arm was never set properly and as a result the arm has always given me some discomfort.  The last few months however; the pain has steadily grown where I have to work around it for such tasks as putting on a shirt.  So I put in a medical request form. I suggested that perhaps the lack of exercise is causing the pain, as up until a year ago I was being treated for cancer and I didn’t exercise much and since then I’ve done very little.  But with my impending release on Wednesday, I didn’t make a  good choice ignoring the pain.  To my surprise, I was actually seen on Sunday by a nurse right here on the unit.  The nurse decided to see me because of my history of cancer.  She determined the kind of bone issue I described shouldn’t be ignored.  Just another example of the usually positive experience I’ve had with health practitioners while I’ve been in prison.  She decided to refer me to the doctor without performing tests.  But she did take a history of how it happened, asking why I didn’t address this years ago when I had insurance and why I waited until now.  Truth was I didn’t want to answer the questions people would have asked related to how it happened, my usual honesty and shame issues.  Hopefully, I don’t continue that pattern.  One nice thing about all my family and friends knowing I went to prison is all pretense is gone.  The truth will be revealed eventually whether you want it to or not.  The fact I had problems is now known to them.  How will they react to me?  How will I react to them?  I am going to try, despite the loss of family, possessions, career, and money, to hold my head high.  The difference between disgrace and shame would be failing to learn the lessons shame has taught.  It will be a struggle, make no mistake about that.  Charles and Victoria Martin, my adoptive parents, have his retirement celebration coming up July 17th where family friends and acquaintances from years gone by will be in attendance.  We’ll see then if my words here mean anything.  The rest of the weekend was uneventful.  ERP group member Scott Dietz had his paperwork signed by a Milwaukee County judge on a weekend.  He also inquired about me building websites for his businesses.  I’m suspicious of any contact with people from here or promises made but I said sure I’m interested but I’ll need a couple of months to get my feet on the ground.  But I almost believe him.  I talked to my adoptive parents on Sunday as well.  They have the bed I slept on as a kid setup in the basement and some simple foodstuffs put up for me there.  The internet will be turned on June 25th so I can get to catching up on my Information Technology and programming skills.  They gave my parole officer (PO) Helen Gaither the house key which I can get from her on Wednesday but left a door open in the event by the time I get to Menasha, WI after business hours.  Of course this tells me the PO and my adoptive parents have been meeting and talking.  That makes me a little nervous.  But everything seems set.  Wednesday can’t get here soon enough!


I’m at the Fox Lake Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). The day got off to my typically abnormal start. At 1:30 am I got up after more sever than normal nightmares. In the real world, in this situation, I’d have gotten out of my bed, gone to the basement, and found my stash of booze, usually Jack Daniels, and drink in the dark until I calmed down.  Then I returned to bed no one the wiser.  The problem with that is you can’t do that during the day, at least not for any length of time without people being suspicious.  So I covered with lies explaining my absences and tried to avoid situations where lots of people would be around and I couldn’t get away or where situations that would cause a lot of anxiety, such as those at the end with my family.  There’s no Jack Daniels at FMCI so I got up this morning, being careful to shuffle my feet, and did my laundry.  It turns out laundry can be quite therapeutic.  If I’m blessed with another wife someday, I imagine shell like that stress reduction technique!  I finally finished at around 3:30 am.  I didn’t interrupt anything this time thank God, at least that I noticed.  Unfortunately I didn’t get back to sleep as my bunkmate (cellie) has the flu and can’t stop coughing.  I’m not sure if I would have gone back to sleep.  I wish there was an easy fix.  At 4:50 am I got up for breakfast then returned to my bunk, finally going to sleep.  Once again, the morning routine was disrupted with an emergency count after the regular count was done.  Later they chose today to either inspect or perform maintenance on the smoke detectors.  Every once in awhile a high pitched sound representing the fire alarm was heard echoing through the building.  A tall, skinny maintenance guy kept fiddling with the fuse boxes.  I observed Lt. Brodie and a guy who lives a couple bunks down from me.  At the first shakedown, he had had a mug full of apple juice taken and was accused of trying to make hooch. They gave him multiple breathalyzer tests but it always came back to zero so they let him go.  Brodie challenged him that it wasn’t hooch and he argued with him.  As we’ve seen before, Brodie doesn’t like it when inmates argue with him.  He told him to go to his bunk.  I caught up with him at lunch and he shared the complications.  He’s convinced Brodie has it in for him and had managed to sabotage his recent parole hearing.  His situation is further complicated by the additional minor ticket he got during the shakedown for having pornographic images of his girl up on his bunk wall that somehow got through the mail censors.  Inmates often share such images with each other, as kind of a bragging contest.  He kind of acted like its something we all do.  I wanted to say, no, I don’t get any of those pictures, but if I did, no one else would be looking at my lady!  Of course, the judge for his hearing on that ticket is Lt. Brodie, and he was concerned Brodie wouldn’t be fair.  He wanted to talk to someone right away about this.  I told him to calm down. You’ve got to keep your eye on the main goal which is to get out.  If you continue on your present course, your going to harm your chances.  There is no immediate way for you to fix this with Brodie, so you’ve got to sit down and be quiet.  Not what he wanted to hear!  He told me he’s not going to kiss anyone’s butt.  I get where he’s at.  You feel you’re in the right and want someone to listen.  But it doesn’t matter here if you are right.  Will it be any satisfaction that you are right when you are in the hole?  I’ve learned not to challenge Brodie.  You will lose.  It’s just the way it is.  It’s how the system is set up.