I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). We had the worst meal ever since my incarceration began. The entree was beef stroganoff. The smell literally made me want to vomit. I dared to actually take a bite and then I wished I would vomit. I’m not the type to complain but this was bad. Fortunately, I had some canteen left over so I finished that off. I ran into a hustler on this cell block who wants to trade 2 for 1 on anything if I’m hungry as he knows I’m not used to the food here yet and he thinks I won’t have money to buy canteen. We place orders on Thursday and they are delivered the following Wednesday. Fortunately, one of my sponsors sent me a little cash so we didn’t have the same situation I did when I got to Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI). So I declined, but I would’ve anyway. You don’t want to get involved with people like that. This just means I have to exist on state food till Wednesday. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine! After supper, my cellies finished their group and after returning to the cell, Malik Pearl and I got into a conversation. First it was about ERP. Rumors have it Gov. elect Scott Walker is going to try to kill the program and return to truth in sentencing and he expressed doubts as he didn’t think financially the state could. Then he told me he asked to come here for ERP as its said the ERP at MSDF is considered the easiest of all the prisons and that I should be grateful I came here instead of some of the others. It is true, especially at Oshkosh, that many don’t get through. The way he spoke reminded me of a black preacher’s cadence, and he seemed to genuinely believe what he said. I made the comment he should be a preacher. Malik looked at me like he was shocked and I asked what was up. It seems between bits (times) in prison at one point he had become a Christian and was being groomed to take over as a pastor at a church. His desire to have material possessions led him back to the world of drugs and dealing. Malik said he wasn’t yet ready to recommit his life to God but he will eventually. I told him not to wait too long, you never know what might happen and that God’s gifts and call upon his life is irrevocable. Someday he could be restored to his former position, and that there is hope. He said he’s get there, but first he’d go back to the life (dealing) so he could get financially stable. God would let him know when it was his time he thought. I replied that God has already spoken. I suppose one on the outside might not understand the contradiction Malik presents but I do. The good he wants to do is obfuscated by the falling dominoes chain of bad decisions. It doesn’t mean the desire to do right is gone. But the whole conversation about God, by two men who demonstrate feet of clay every day, I sensed was more effective than any preacher’s message could have been then. But I’ve learned we haven’t lost the credibility to help others even if we’ve made some horrible mistakes.
Posts Tagged ‘message’
Romans 11:29
Posted: January 31, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: cadence, cash, cell, Christian, church, clay, contradiction, conversation, Correctional, decisions, Detention, didn, doubts, entree, feet, FMCI, food, gifts, haven, incarceration, Institution, Lake, life, Malik, meal, message, Milwaukee, Minimum, money, MSDF, orders, Oshkosh, pastor, Pearl, possessions, preacher, Prison, prisons, Program, Release, Romans, Rumors, Scott, Secure, situation, supper, System, times, Truth, Walker, Wisconsin, world
Everything I Touch Turns to Stone
Posted: December 1, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: About, Afterwards, aisle, Around, arrival, Bible, Brodie, bunk, chapel, choir, chords, confinement, conversations, Correctional, Daniel, demeanor, desk, Detention, didn, disaster, distractions, earth, fact, FMCI, frustrations, Great, guitar, guys, haven, headphones, hours, Institution, keyboard, knowledge, Lake, leader, Maybe, members, message, Milwaukee, Minimum, Minnesota, MSDF, music, opinions, Packers, paper, Percy, player, politics, preacher, Prison, punishment, radio, restriction, satisfaction, Secure, setup, song, System, talent, ticket, Trivia, Vikings, volunteer, wasn, Wisconsin, world, York
I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). It should have been a good day. The Green Bay Packers beat the New York Jets and it’s always a good day regardless when the Minnesota Vikings lose of course. I however was going on little sleep after the previous evening and wasn’t in a great place in my head as it was. The day started with conversations with a couple members of the now defunct praise choir questioning the motives and talent of the guy left to sing. Hey, the guy could have been the best praise leader on earth and it wouldn’t have mattered to me. All it did was remind me I didn’t know the music, the chords, had never played with the guitar player and this feud between all of them still grated on me. Oh, and the service was only hours away. At count time after lunch, I’m in the aisle expressing my frustrations to a chapel service when Percy came up and asked me where my bunk was. I showed him to my right grabbing the bar. He had this look on his face that said smug satisfaction. Those around me thought he might give me a warning for not being by my bunk since I’d never gotten a ticket or warning for anything since my arrival in WPS. A warning would tarnish my record but not permanently. The fact it came from Percy annoyed me but what are you going to do? Around 4 I went for practice and setup for chapel. Of course, the leader wants to have special sound settings for each song and brings out another keyboard than the one I’d used on Friday. I am having to do everything I can to keep from walking out at this point. The actual practice showed, well, we need more practice, myself included, but all of us together especially. We didn’t know how to start or end the songs and the guitar and I weren’t playing together. So chapel, music wise, was a disaster. The head volunteer suggested we play hymns, if that gives you an idea. The message was about Daniel 9:20-27, and how the preacher felt the end of the world would occur. I enjoyed studying such things years ago but that knowledge was only useful then to win a Bible Trivia game. The stakes are much higher now.
Afterwards, the politics began all over again with lots of opinions. I was just glad to get out of there. I escaped to my bunk. I put the closed captioning on the football game, put my headphones in the radio while listening to eighties music, trying to keep my mind occupied by these distractions from my current world. About 2 hours later I was paged to go to the guard desk. There was Percy, paper in hand. He informed me I was being written up and was going to get 3 days bunk confinement for not being by my bunk at count. I replied that he had to be kidding, no warning or anything? He replied sarcastically, that oh sure he was. His demeanor indicated he was really enjoying this. Then he told me my bunk restriction would begin immediately unless I appealed to Lt. Brodie. Great, I thought. Hardly someone in my corner. I wasn’t as composed as I had been with Brodie as I said I would appeal. I returned to my bunk. Guys around me let me know I’d also lose my electronics, which had been keeping me sane and since I appealed, my punishment would probably double. I tried to sleep again but gave up at 1 am and got up and did laundry. It just feels like I’ve been on a bit of a losing streak lately, like everything I touch is turning to stone. I tried to talk myself down, that at least for now I haven’t lost my ERP program at Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF) yet. I’m not in the hole, and I shouldn’t be surprised, its Percy we’re talking about. He acted as expected. I should have been more careful. I wish I could tell you I was good after that but that would be a lie. But let’s see what happens. Maybe Brodie will surprise me.
Life in Wisconsin Prisons and Beyond 