Posts Tagged ‘meals’


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  With Ms. Grey having declared Thursday and Friday as “paperwork days”, I spent 8 am to 9 am in the dayroom and the rest of the day in my cell working on ERP program materials.  Some guys enjoy hanging out with everyone while talking and such.  I’ve never been one to do so especially with this bunch, not even with the guys in my own ERP group.  I do tolerate it more with them.  First, I ‘m not overly social to begin with and then add to that I now if anything goes wrong, it could cost me another 18 months in prison.  Let’s face it, I don’t have a lot of trust in most of them.  The only one I’d say I have any kind of friendship is John Lloyd and that’s a result of him sitting at meals with me.  Our last conversation revolved around the DNA surcharge applied by judges when defendants are sentenced.  Unless DNA played a part in getting your conviction, inmates are getting that money refunded by citing State of Wisconsin vs. Cherry.  Lloyd managed to get that $250 returned like this.  I haven’t had enough sent in to have that deducted so its not been an issue for me. I suppose I’ll need to address that someday while on parole as payment of fees and fines are part of my sentence.  But we’ll see.  On Friday things went pretty much the same in the morning with one major exception.  I had gotten in the habit of locking my locker because things had turned up missing.  There are 2 locks on the locker with one lock locked to the other and that one bolted to the locker to prevent you from using it as a weapon.  I opened my locker to find a previously un-opened Jolly Rancher bag opened and my dental floss packs bag virtually emptied.  The only one in the cell had been Andre proving is is impossible.  But opening an un-opened bag makes the statement he thinks I won’t do anything about it.  While pondering on this Lloyd showed up at my door and told me Ms. Grey was in the dayroom and wanted to speak to me.  She told me that a group of students were touring MSDF and wanted me to speak to them about how I ended up in prison.  Of course I agreed.  I’ve always felt my story and my perspective might mean something, maybe help someone someday.  Of course Lloyd heard this and told some and they told others.  Pretty soon I had people giving me a hard time in a good natured way, about how I was the teachers pet.  But the afternoon came and went and no students showed up.  Ms. Grey came by about 4:30 pm and asked if anyone showed up and apologized and to have a good weekend.  I told her its no problem.  Hey, I’d been willing to do it and for this anxiety junkie that’s what its all about.  I still had to deal with the other problem.  The lock on the lockers are Masterlocks and inmates have figured out how to open them without the combination.  By rapidly turning the knob, a person can open the lock.  But I approached the guard on duty and got the combination to the second lock.  I don’t think he was suppose to give me that combination because opening that one allowed one of the locks to come free which as previously  noted that could be used as a weapon.  But with Andre having 2 or 3 weeks before his departure, I wanted to communicate to him I was aware of what he was doing.  Confronting him is a bad idea as well as marking myself as a snitch.  So lets see how it turns out. 


I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS).  December 13th is my bed date to begin my ERP program at Milwaukee Secure Detention Center Facility (MSDF).  They could come get me from here any day now.  It’s November 19th, the weekend before Thanksgiving.  Ms. Greer showed up today in her #4 Minnesota Vikings jersey, and she is proud to wear it and she’ll let you know that when she hears the topic come up in conversation.  It makes everybody smile though.  She has a rough edge with a good heart.  So overlook her football team preference.  Nobody’s perfect! I always wonder if she feels imprisoned by the system in trying to help inmates or if she has stopped fighting and just picks her spots where she can make a difference.  She certainly hasn’t completely quit trying as many who burn out. I’m hoping I spend Thanksgiving week here as I’m told the food portions are better here.  I won’t lie, I’m nervous about going to MSDF and change is always hard for me.  Other inmates pain a very bleak picture.  You won’t see the outside world until you leave, canteen is small and expensive, its dirty and no electronics.  Still as we’ve seen in the past, inmate information can be unreliable and if I can endure this and succeed, I’ll get out.  Anyway, we’ve had a huge influx of new people in the last week.  There’s no Welcome Wagon here to educate them on how things are done and the unwritten rules.  That becomes most evident in the line for meals.  The customs are really a reversion to grade school tactics.  Of course, the Glee Club is still at the front of the line but after that group, grown men who never care about such things all of a sudden become quite concerned with someone who might step in front of them or others who feel they are popular by being allowed to do so.  I usually greet this whole drill with a yawn and roll of my eyes but for some reason not today.  As I moved toward the cart that holds the trays in front of the guard station,  a new inmate, a young black man with an early Jackson 5 type haircut with his pants down so far his butt was on display darted right in front of me.  Normally I don’t care but today for some reason I did.  As I debated how to handle it, the sergeant yelled at him twice to pull up his pants.  He conveyed his contempt for the sergeant with his half hearted compliance. I decided then wasn’t the time to deal with this.  After lunch, I have to walk past his bunk to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and I stopped and said to him that I didn’t want to say anything in front of the blue shirts (guards) but you can’t step in front of people in line like that without asking as they will feel disrespected.   His cellie, white and young like him, laughed nervously.  He reacted like he couldn’t believe I said something but finally after a couple of seconds said “ok”.  I went to the bathroom and on my way back he motioned me over and he thanked me for not saying anything in front of the guards.  I replied that they would have taken it wrong.  It ended well, but this was not the way to handle this.  If he had reacted differently, I could have lost everything.  I should have let it go.  I just wonder if I’m subconsciously trying to sabotage myself because I’m about to enter ERP, mostly because my reaction was so out of character for me.  Remember, I’ve been dreaming about my goals eluding me despite doing all I could to achieve them.  Am I trying to set myself up for failure?  I don’t really know the answer just now but I sure hope not. 


I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS).  I woke up expecting Lt. Brodie to call me at any point to hear the ticket that Percy gave me.  The day started off with Ms. Greer reporting the follow up she did with Waukesha County on them trying to charge me for medical treatment provided while I was in their custody.  It seems it is their “policy” not to pay for medical treatment while in custody.  Of course, if they had told me that at the time, I would’ve refused any treatment until I got to prison.  I know I would have.  I know me.  Why they told me they’d pay for it when they really wouldn’t is a mystery to me.  But Ms. Greer suggested I get a lawyer and returned to me all documentation I had provided to her.  It was her way of ending any involvement on this.  She also knows I have no way of getting a lawyer and fighting this while I’m here.  Still, Ms. Greer made a phone call on my behalf.  It’s not much but it’s more than I’d seen anyone do on my behalf while in the WPS.  So I’ll giver her props for that.  Still, it isn’t good news.  I have no idea what to do on this now.  I think I have little I can do while I’m here.  A little later, I finally received a coat. It’s ironic because I’m probably going to be put on bunk restriction and not able to walk the track anyway.  What’s more is I don’t really feel like it anyway.  Adding that to the lack of sleep and the skipping of meals I’ve been doing and I’m pretty sure I’m in a bad place.  Funny thing is if I hadn’t been writing I wouldn’t have connected the pieces.  I just don’t know what to do about it.  If I say anything, if they put me on meds, or they say I’m not suitable, I’ll lose my ERP program start date (Dec 13th).  Anyway, Brodie didn’t show up all day.  They were to hand out canteen in the evening.  I didn’t think anything of it.  But shortly after canteen got handed out, my cellie told me it was coming around.  I asked what he meant.  He then explained Charlie was surrounded by several guys at his bunk and they were all yelling and getting at him in a real aggressive manner.  Listening in, it seems Charlie had borrowed so much canteen from so many people to pay for his cigarette habit that he couldn’t possibly pay everyone back.  His size couldn’t save him and he couldn’t hide.  His victims pursued him into the dayroom, getting in his face and he kept alternating between threatening and pleading with his accusers.  As a rule, I have a good heart and don’t want to see anyone hurt.  I don’t want to see Charlie hurt.  But it was justice inmate style for once I was ok with it.  I wonder if his behavior will change. 


I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS).  Recently, particularly since football season got in high gear, the television in the dayroom has begun to be a bit of a point of contention among some inmates.  Not me of course.  Since I’ve gotten my electronics, like any inmate with their own TV, they have no say on the TV’s in the dayroom.  But even when I didn’t, I just wouldn’t participate in those debates. I’ve seen arguments over the TV escalate and end up with people in the hole.  I’m starting my ERP program in December, and such arguments aren’t worth the risk.  But there is a group of inmates who are in their early to late twenties who aren’t into sports, like to talk crap to others, and just generally never stop talking.  They have successfully irritated the older inmates to varying degrees and always make sure they are at the front of the line at meals.  They are concerned with who buds in line.  Yes, it is very much a junior high mentality.  Most of us don’t understand why the excitement to get your state food.  But one night, this group of kids wanted to watch the FOX television show “Glee” instead of a sports program the older inmates preferred.  They won that one as those who wanted the sports program were outnumbered.  But this group had now been christened “The Glee Club”.  Naturally, the inmates so named, being in a high testosterone environment, expressed their displeasure.  But the more they protested, the more the name stuck.  The older inmates took a great deal of pleasure at seeing how much it bothered them.  When members of the Glee Club or the older inmates mentioned it to me, I was careful, as always, to not get into bed with either side.  But I did tell one thing to both sides.  This was going to come to a head, and there won’t be a winner.  But its the perfect statement to make.  I don’t commit myself, and its sufficiently vague.  It turned out the statement was almost prophetic.  The Glee Club had assembled in the dayroom and were watching a movie.  There was college football on other channels and many went by including myself, to see if the game was on.  Most of us moved on when we saw it wasn’t.  But at the end of the movie, one older inmate had had enough.  He walked up to the TV and changed the channel then sat down.  The Glee Club, well was not full of glee.  One member got up and changed the channel back.  They they went back and forth, voices rising until finally the Glee Club member pushed the older guy.  The guard at the desk, watching the whole thing piped up yelling that any more would result in people going to the hole.  Everyone was lucky this wasn’t a medium or maximum security facility.  Everyone would have been locked down and they both would have gone to the hole.  The Glee Club got up as one and left.  The geezers had won one.  Since then, it’s been handled as men typically handle disagreements.  We pretend there is nothing wrong and insist it didn’t mean anything, though no one wants to join the Glee Club, that’s for sure.  As for me, I find the Glee Club amusing, as they get upset over things that are so unimportant.  Perhaps they haven’t lost as much as I or others have yet.


I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS).  The laundry procedure is quite different here than it was at Dodge Correctional Institution (DCI) or at Jackson Correctional Institution (JCI). Here we accumulate clothes and wash it with the clothes we buy from the catalogs, as well as the sheets we put on top of the foam padding we lay on.  You can also choose to turn it all in except what you personally buy and pick up clean stuff after count around 6 pm.  The only problem with that is its a crapshoot what you’ll get.  You can tell them what sizes you need but much like DCI or JCI, it may or may not resemble that, or it’s really stretched out.  Here you learn to hang onto good laundry and bigger sheets and wash it yourself with laundry soap you can buy off canteen.  With only 2 old washers and dryers, inmates try to keep them running all the time.  If you aren’t there when the washer or dryer completes, other inmates yell real loud, “Washer!” or “Dryer!” with a voice that indicates annoyance.  If you still don’t get your laundry, it gets piled by the guard station which I’m sure annoys them.  I’m not willing to let my laundry out of my sight so that hasn’t been a problem for me.  I don’t have a trust issue here.  I trust people here to repeat previous patterns of behavior and that for many, includes theft.  Once done, I brought my laundry back to my bunk.  Since I’m on top bunk, my cellie leaves while i make it up.  Speaking of my cellie, his parole hearing was rescheduled and he actually got the Act 28 early release which was surprising especially since he got kicked out of his ERP program at Oshkosh Correctional Institution (OCI).  Now he has to go through the approval process.  He has handled me being around more ok. At least I think so.  Neither of us are the type to talk a lot so its hard to tell.

Well, I’ll close with some updates.  I told you previously I had lost a lot of weight during chemotherapy and I was trying to gain the weight back. Mission accomplished and then some!  All of a sudden, it just appeared.  I’m not 6’1”  and 195 pounds.  I’m heavier now than I’ve ever been.  It feels good but now I wonder if I’m going to get fat.  Of course, when I go to Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF) for my ERP program, I’m told the portion sizes for meals are smaller and there’s little canteen to get.  So, I’ll be dieting one way or another.  Next, I’m told my sponsors are now mirroring this blog on WordPress. They have more tools they can use like statistics, then Windows Live I’m told.  So feel free to check it out and tell them or me what you think.  Finally, I was told on the last scan, they found an abscessed tooth.  I’m not sure what that is but the doc asked them to take care of it.  It explains the pain a bit.   They asked why I didn’t say something.  I guess its because, as usual, I’m the last one to admit I have a problem.  One of these days, I’m going to learn that lesson, and in the process, spare myself and others the unnecessary pain that only gets worse with the lack of honesty. 


I’m at the Fox Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS).  We were suppose to have an inspection today.  Basically a white shirt (Supervisor) comes by and at the minimum security level is basically just looking for obvious rule violations or bunks that are unclean.  But it got cancelled because there was two bags of hooch (homemade alcohol made with yeast, bread and other ingredients) found in Unit 10.  We suspect it really didn’t affect the amount of time available to do the search but its a Friday so it was a good excuse to call it off.  The guards everywhere I’ve been are by no means overworked and this place is no exception.  The guards have a disadvantage here in that they are much more visible in everything they do.  They don’t have a covering over them shielding them from inmate view like they did at Jackson Correctional Institution (JCI) or have distance from inmates like they did at Dodge Correctional Institution (DCI) Admission and Evaluation (A&E) units.  We see when they have two to four times the serving sizes for meals that inmates have or when they spend a lot of time surfing the internet, reading books or being really noisy themselves.  I’m sure other places did this sort of thing but its just not visible to us as much.  The upside for inmates is they largely leave us alone here.  Guards rarely leave their island desk except for the forty foot walk to their bathroom.  The downside is that inmates who are loud, intimidate others or take advantage of others rarely get checked (put in their place).  We do have snitches here, like any other facility and every once in awhile someone goes to the hole based on that information.  But like JCI and DCI, guards don’t want to be bothered as a rule.  But like other places I found exceptions to the rule.  The Property Department Sgt. seemed genuinely interested and wanted to help if he could.  But for the most part, Lt. Brodie, the main white shirt, and the guards, just don’t care about anything that concerns us.  I suspect after they work as guards awhile we become less than human to them.  I’m sure that’s probably true everywhere too.  Like I’ve said before, I’m not out to get the blue shirts (guards), white shirts (supervisors) or the Department of Corrections (DOC).  I’m here to do my time for my crime for which I’m guilty.  I don’t think rehabilitation is the responsibility of the guards or the DOC, but rather the inmate.  If you’ve followed along, you’ve seen how far I’ve come in the time I’ve been incarcerated.  I’ve done it by minding my own business, working on myself and staying focused.  When I slip, I do the very opposite of those things.  This blog, my sponsors and many of you have played a big part in that.  But guards and prison programs can’t do any of that for you.  It would be easy for me to blame guards, the DOC, JCI or DCI for impeding the changes, but needed to be made, but ultimately it really  isn’t their job to make these choices for me.  Can they frustrate or aggravate me?  Oh yeah.  You’ve read about it.  But that won’t stop me from seeing through the obstacles and the possibilities that lay behind them.