I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). What an intense 24 hours it has been since my last entry! Shortly after the Green Bay Packers lost to the Detroit Lions, my cellie (cellmate), Andre Charles was going on and on about how great it was the Packers lost. I asked the question with a smile if he was the kind of person that would go on and on just to annoy others. He responded by asking if I was “getting all up in my chest” which means to get upset. It came across to me by virtue of his body language and tone that he was challenging me. I replied that if I was “getting up in my chest” he would know it. We both got pretty hot. I told him to leave me alone and went to the bathroom to shave my head as is my custom on Sundays. He, of course, followed where the argument continued. Andre told me he’s going to leave me alone. I said that was fine and as I walked away he said he’d “punch me in the mouth”. Twice more, once that night and again the next morning he threatened me. I stood toe to toe with him being careful not to threaten but not back down. Charles historically has a violent temper with charges in the past reflecting that so this wasn’t an idle threat. But finally he walked away and returned an hour later, saying he didn’t want to live like this. My other two cellies, Malik Pearl and Brian Whalen, had watched this whole thing and wouldn’t say anything to offend Andre. So they were happy I’m sure this was getting patched just in time. We both apologized and I was off to being ERP. Truth is I was incredibly stupid to say anything at all. Ms. Grey, our ERP coordinator, had us assemble in the weight room which wasn’t real well lit. She hadn’t thought ahead on that. She handed out folders. It was just your usual consent forms, agreements, and Intake information. But one of my worst fears was realized. We have to do an autobiography and timeline and read it to the group. There’s a lot of things you know and other things you don’t that I feel like in the hands of other inmates regardless of how many confidentiality agreements they sign. But here is the thing. The stakes are so high for me right now. If I should fail ERP, my mandatory release date is January 1, 2013. That’s over 2 years from now, 8 months if I complete “ERP”. I’ve got to be willing to do whatever it takes to pass. And who knows, maybe it’ll be useful and my fear might be baseless.
Posts Tagged ‘fears’
ERP Begins
Posted: February 17, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: agreements, Andre, argument, autobiography, bathroom, Brian, Charles, chest, coordinator, custom, Detention, Detroit, fears, Grey, inmates, Institution, Intake, January, language, Lions, Malik, Milwaukee, MSDF, Packers, Pearl, person, Prison, Program, Release, room, Secure, Sundays, System, threat, Truth, Twice, virtue, wasn, Whalen, Wisconsin
You Can’t Handle the Truth
Posted: December 6, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: account, Again, apartment, attitude, boat, Brodie, bunk, Club, confinement, Correctional, decisions, depression, didn, disciplinary, electronics, fears, FMCI, Glee, gotten, Greer, Handle, history, impulses, income, inmate, Institution, knowledge, lady, Lake, Minimum, needs, news, office, officer, outcomes, paper, Percy, Prison, requirement, rules, skills, spite, supper, System, ticket, tickets, Truth, warden, Wisconsin, word
I’m at the Fox Lake Minimum Correctional Institution (FMCI), a facility in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS). I’ve gotten better as the week progressed and not only that I forced myself to get out on the track and felt better for it. I started to reengage people too. One inmate confided in me his fears about getting out soon. He claims, if you can follow, he got revoked because his cleaning lady got busted at his apartment with pot without his knowledge. In his case, he is unusual because he is “max discharge”, that is he has no “paper” or requirement to follow rules that a parole officer might require. His fears revolve around his being alone, having nowhere to go and no job. I certainly understood as I’m in that boat too. I got him talking about his skills and how much potential income they might bring. Yes its going to be rough for him, but if he already has a defeated attitude, how far will he get? It got close to supper time and the Glee Club was lined up already. Pretty soon word had gotten around Lt. Brodie was conducting hearings on tickets. One of the Glee Club that knew I had a ticket taunted me in a good natured way that I was next. He was right. Brodie was conducing his hearings in Ms. Greer’s office. He acted as if he didn’t know who I was but I just don’t believe it. He asked my side of the story and I explained what happened. Then he said he’d already taken into account my lack of any discipline history when he determined my sentence was 5 days bunk confinement. Everyone had told me these hearings and their outcomes were predetermined before the inmate says a word. I guessed that to be true but I didn’t expect Brodie to be so brazen about it. My bunk confinement was to begin the following day. I was told I could appeal to the warden but I figured they’ll double it again if I do. I did get some good news. Again, inmate information was incorrect, I did get to keep the use of my electronics. They can take it away but usually don’t unless it involves misuse of the electronics. Truth is outside of my walks on the track, bunk confinement wouldn’t be much different than my normal routine. Yet I was still angry. I was angry that Percy had just for spite, had wrecked my perfect disciplinary record. I was wrong for putting myself in the position he could accuse me. I started feeling the familiar yet unpredictable impulses of rage and anger toward Percy. That’s a side of me I don’t like at all. Fortunately, I’ve never acted on such impulses. When waves of depression and rage strike, I ride out the storm and never make decisions during that time. Then after the storm was over, I prayed for Percy, that he might find happiness and whatever it is he needs to find his center. Then I went to sleep. It was the first real good sleep I’ve had in awhile.
Life in Wisconsin Prisons and Beyond 