Posts Tagged ‘Beliefs’


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  After reading the autobiography, Ms. Grey, our ERP Group Coordinator had each of us devise an ERP Treatment Plan.  It consists of 2 short-term treatment related goals and objectives and 2 long-term practical type goals and objectives.  I’ll share mine with you so you can understand what I’m referring to in the future.  The first short term treatment goal was to address forgiveness issues.  The objectives (how to accomplish this) will be 1. – Read Chapter 5, 7, 13-14 of Houses of Healing by Robin Casarjian.  2. – Write 5 page essay on material.  3. – Write letter forgiving biological father. 4. – Share essay with ERP group. 5. – Share letter with group.  The second short-term treatment goal is to address anger issues.  The objectives are 1. – Read Anger is a Choice by Tim Layattte and Bob Phillips. 2. – Write 5 page essay on material. 3. – Share essay with group. 4. – Write letter forgiving self. 5. – Do “Thinking Event” (describe an event, your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, believes, and outcome involving it) on post traumatic delayed stress disorder connected event.  The first long-term goal relates to Housing and Transportation.  The objectives are to “Try to stay with my adopted parents for a few days.  They are Rev. Charles Martin and Victoria Martin 2. – Get my own place relatively quickly. 3. – Get place in Green Bay, WI after that. 4. – Get assessment so I can get my drivers license.  5. – Get driver license.  6. – Get car insurance. 7. – Get car.  The second long-term goal relates to employment.  The objects are 1. – Find 3rd shift job so I can be available for interviews and training.  2. – Try to find Information Technology job. 3. – Look into Real Estate training and license.  4. – Look into car sales. 5. – Get cell phone.  From here, I’ll sign this goal sheet, then Ms. Grey followed by Ms. Greys’s supervisor and it will then be considered part of my treatment plan.  Some comments about this.  The short-term treatment goals seem simple but they are not.  But they are worthy of my time and like I said, and though I’ve been addressing these issues on this blog the last year, it will be good for me to do this.  I’m also pretty sure this wont’ be the end of it on these issues.  The long-term goals are another matter.  The Parole Officer has to approve me going to my adoptive parents county and they have to say it’s ok otherwise its going to be going to a homeless shelter.  As far as the transportation and employment, so much of it requires money, which I don’t have, and have factors I can’t control, such as will anyone hire  an IT Professional who is a felon.  That if I focus on such things, you can get yourself pretty worked up.  Do you want to hire me?  Just kidding of course, but seriously, I wonder how people will view me in the job market.  But of course, I’m not the only soon to be released felon confronting these issues.  Every day felons start out from prisons with the odds already against them just like I’m going to do.  But I have faith.  I have faith if I do what I’m suppose to, I’m going to make it.  I’m going to have faith in God to see me through, ask others for help when I need it, and be willing to do whatever it takes. 

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I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  The morning in our ERP group we finished the movie “Antwone Fisher” starring Denzel Washington, after which we did a questionnaire on the movie.  But talk about art paralleling life!  I just had biological family relatives finally getting in touch with me recently.  I did share what was going on with me in the ensuing discussion and how I was happy the movie didn’t end with some cheesy glorious ending between his mother and him.  Ok, I’m a little jaded.  I just don’t think it happens that often.  Afterwards we finished up the “Rational Thinking” workbook from The Change Companies.  At the afternoon session, we watched a ten year old movie called “Tough Guise”.  Its premise is basically we as men have been programmed to think as violent creatures in order to prove our manhood.  We were encouraged to not believe that obviously.  We received a new workbook “The Price of Freedom is Living Free – Lifestyles and Values” by Jack D. Cooper, published by Kindred Publishing and Productions, and were assigned the first 10 pages.  We were also given a bunch of handouts on Denial, Defense Systems, the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy model, thinking cycle, core beliefs, irrational thinking, the three R Cycle (resentment, rehearsal, revenge) and Stages of Change.  It took 20 minutes to get all this passed out.  To be honest, I’m under motivated right now.  I was up at 5 am to get a shot at the shower and laundry so I’m tired.  I also know this family stuff is on my mind.  I don’t know if they were aware of the early years.  One of them doesn’t know I know my biological father raped them too (his own sister).  Part of me really wished this hadn’t come along right now but something tells me the timing is no accident.  To make matters worse, I caught Andre Charles in my locker but he didn’t know I was watching.  He’s accustomed to have been doing this with Brian Whalen.  So I got the combination to my lock and moved things around so I can lock up my canteen.  That’s going to create questions but this anxiety junkie doesn’t need another reason to get uptight.  Bottom line it’s just not a great day for me.  You have those too.  Issues are different but the results are the same.  But it’s going to be ok.  At count right after supper, the second shift guard announced we shouldn’t interrupt him while he was eating because “dieting makes you crazy” and it must be obvious to us he was a bodybuilder.  We all laughed.  Nobody cared what he does or what his problems were.  But it made me smile so that was a good thing.


I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP).  I woke up to cellie Andre Charles, banging around intentionally trying to disturb the rest of us in retaliation for yesterday’s events.  I bet you’re as tired of reading about this as I am living it.  But I took advantage.  I got up and got my laundry and shower done by 7:30 am.  In the news department, I’m starting a new protein only diet today.  I’m 6’1” and 200 lbs, heavier than I’ve ever been.  Basically I’ll only eat protein.  No more chips, carbs and such.  So I ordered meat sticks and tuna off canteen.  So we’ll see how that works.  I’m not fat but I want to keep from getting that way.  Plus I ordered a multivitamin off canteen so its not like I’m not getting that stuff.  Anyway, Ms. Grey came for our morning ERP session and started out with our breathing exercise and moved onto a “pretest” of our knowledge about the things we’ll be covering in ERP which I got an 82.  She elected to wait until next week for our assignment on the inner child from yesterday.  No one complained.  A new book was handed out, the second in the series from The Change Companies called “Rational Thinking” and got out first assignment, Chapter 1 – “Learning Your ABC’s” of emotion and action.  “A” stands for the activating event, “B” is for Beliefs and “C” is for consequences.  As usual, if you want details, ask.  After we were done, cellie Malik Pearl let me know the social worker questioned cellie Brian Whalen about this situation in our cell.  He went back on what he told us he was going to say and instead said everything was fine.  I haven’t been questioned.  But Andre returned to the cell crowing how Malik was such a punk and how we’ll never get him out of this cell.  Unless there’s a fight I suspect he’s right.  Once again we had it out.  Once again nothing got resolved.  I’ve just had it with this guy.  Afterwards, I just relaxed and enjoyed an episode of MASH.  Hard to be in a bad mood after that.